Critical Review of my Thesis

So yesterday I picked up my spiral bound thesis project from the Bethel print center. 1 1/2 years of work to produce this final project that brought finality to my masters education. I selected the topic of "Effective Support for Families with Issues of Infertility: What can Nursing Do". This was a difficult decision to make, but at the time I was convinced that before long I would be pregnant and that this would be a nice gift to give back to the infertility community. Ha! I laugh at that now. I thought that at least by the time I presented my research symposium poster in May of 2008 I would be sporting a cute prego bulg and reflecting on the difficulties of infertility. However that wasn't the case. Instead, I stood next to my poster with a t-shirt that read "I will be a mother". I had to make a faith statement to get me through that day. My poster tied for first place and took second place based on a bias tiebreaker judge (a male that looked at my poster for 2 seconds). Oh well. That May I thought for sure I would be pregnant by the time I completed my research. Instead, here I am done with the research, but not done with my infertility. I know there is a greater purpose for my research, and I wonder if I would have been as dedicated if I had become pregant. I think if I was preganant I would have wanted to disown the topic of infertility as a fragment of my past. I also think that by going through almost all infertility treatments I now have a better understanding of what infertile patients go through. My hardships were very different when I was at the OB office taking Clomid and having surgery to check for endometriosis. My stress and support resources changed again when I went to my RE for shots and inseminations. That time was when I felt the biggests highs and lows. I went through different stresses when we took a break and contemplated IVF or adoption. I probably hit the lowest point early this winter when I realized the time, money, and physical commitments it would take to undergo IVF. Now, I am experiencing a sense of peace, and I am not worried about the outcome of IVF. Each one of these phases of infertility taught me something very different about myself and my relationship with Jason.

My thesis advisor has encouraged me to publish my research. It sounds like a lot of work, but I really should. I will begin looking for a journal to publish in soon. For the most part my research focuses on the role of social support networks for the infertile family, and the role of the nurse in fostering these support networks. My research encourages nurses to provide support from the begining (in the OBGYN office) instead of waiting until IVF proceedures (when they mandate a psych eval). I remembered how difficult it was sitting in those OBGYN offices with pregnant women, newborns, and a stack of the latest baby magazines. Then talking to the nurse/doctor about my infertily. Nobody asked me how I was handling this delay in pregnancy, and no support resources were offered to me. This is something that could easily be changed and would require little money. I also remember when I was in the RE office after getting my period. We had failed another insemination. I had an ultra sound to see if I had developed cysts on my ovaries. Immediately I saw the cyst on the ultrasound. I knew that big ovaries with cysts meant taking a month off. My nurse looked at me and said, "you know the drill. Do you want pills or the nuvaring (birth control options)." It was probably the worst thing she could have said, because you never get use to the "drill". I cried alone in the car that day. I am hoping that by publishing my research infertile patients will be able to receive better support throughout their treatment process from family, friends, doctors, nurses, and community members.